A lot of people ask me if I can help them ‘lose weight.’ I
see bumper stickers that read ‘Lose weight now … ask me how.’ Many
body-conscious organizations talk about ‘weight loss.’ Maybe you would like
to ‘lose’ a few pounds, or kilos, too?
Think again!
People lose things, usually, by mistake. They lose things they
want to be reunited with, like keys, fortunes and loved-ones. You don’t lose a
cold, you get rid of it. You don’t lose a habit, you break it. This may seem
little more than a play on words, but words are very important. (So much so that
there’s a specific site in your brain dedicated to naming vegetables, and
nothing else!). As long as you think of ‘losing’ weight you are making life
difficult for yourself. Instead, think of reducing, dumping or getting rid of
weight. Or better still, think of control - weight control or, more likely,
eating control.
I mostly help people with weight reduction when there are good
medical reasons for it, such as clinical obesity, colitis or irritable bowel
syndrome. But I work with plenty of other people who come to me because they
think they are too big. The conversation usually goes …
Patient: “I’m a size 16 and I want to be a size 12.”
Me: “Why?”
Patient: “Because then I’ll be happy.”
Me: “Why will size 12 make you happy?”
Patient: “Because I’ll be smaller.”
Me: “You know, I’ve seen a lot of miserable size 12s.”
Patient: “I suppose so.”
Me: “So what is it you really want, smaller or happier?”
Patient: “Happier … can you do that?”
I’ve never really understood why people think shedding weight
is the golden road to happiness. Sometimes it’s because they don’t like
something within themselves and, as your size encapsulates everything, it’s an
obvious target. Generally, however, it’s the wrong target.
One patient came to me at 27 stone having had a heart attack –
so good medical grounds for doing weight reduction. After 12 weeks, she was down
to 22 stone and could get on aeroplanes again. She was also more mobile, had
better blood pressure, knew what it was to feel hungry and full, and had tons
more energy. She was happy.
She was happy at twice the size of many people who believe that
dumping weight will make them happy.
If you have sound medical reasons for wanting to be smaller,
dieting is unlikely to help. 99% of dieters put the weight back on because they
never stop wanting the Kentucky Variety Meal and never really enjoy the spinach
salad. They torture themselves daily, eating things they don’t want or like
and denying themselves the pleasure of food they enjoy. What a life!
When I do eating control I use hypnotism to change what the
person likes to eat. When they love fresh fruit and vegetables and can’t stand
cream and butter, they can eat as much as they like. They don’t have to
pretend to enjoy it because it’s supposed to be doing them good. It’s
painless, permanent and doesn’t require discipline. You eat what you like,
only now you like the right things.
Faulty eating is often a coping strategy for other issues. If
you just aren’t happy and think that going down a couple of sizes will solve
your problems, you may be about to work on a symptom whilst ignoring the cause.
So as you prepare to ration yourself into last year’s swim
suit, ask yourself what you really want; to be smaller, or to feel good about
yourself and good within yourself?
Here’s a nice letter from someone who came to see me.
Dear Barry
I never get the chance to sit and log on so instead of e-mailing
you Bridget Jones type musings have used snail mail instead!
Changes I have noticed:-
1. No longer seem to be an
‘emotional’ eater – if angry, anxious etc etc food is irrelevant.
2. When going to café, gym
etc notice healthy things like apples, bananas – if these are unavailable, I
eat nothing!
3. N~~~~ went to a
friend’s party on Sunday. When he gave me the party bag to look after I
didn’t even look in it! (I used to scan it and help myself to sweets and
always eat the birthday cake within as
4. Supermarket shopping –
I always used to choose rubbish items – popcorn, cakes, sweets etc and instead
of packing them I would put them in my handbag to eat on journey home. On Sunday
I did this … with GRAPES!! Yikes!
Will write more as they occur to me
Best wishes
K~~~~~~ x
Isn't that nice?
For enquiries and appointments call 020 8948 2439
or email bt@mindsci-clinic.com